Jun 26, 2011
Sad cat is sad
I debated about posting this because I want this blog to be positive and not focus on negatives. However, in life there are disappointments and let downs so I might as well post about that as well.
The job offer I accepted was withdrawn last week, 3 days before I was to start. WITHDRAWN. I have no idea what kind of company does such a thing after sending a written offer, benefits package, drug test, background check and everything else. But it happened to me. I guess that is the climate we are living in these days. Everything is about money and the bottom line. The reason I was given was that they needed to add a position with revenue. While I understand that, it would have been nice to nice know that right away instead of letting me think I actually had a job. I turned down interviews and stopped my search. Now I just have to start all over again.
To say I was devastated is a good way to describe it. When I got the phone call I feel like I was punched in the gut. As I said, I turned down interviews because this is the position I wanted. Even though it was not my fault, I feel like I can't win. I'm sure in this economy I'm not the only one who feels this way or has been in this situation. BUT IT SUCKS. It sucks that you can offer someone a job and then turn around 2 weeks later and take it away. It sucks that I got my hopes up and was looking forward to a working environment that I thought would be a great fit for me. It sucks that I am still stuck at home all day, watching boring TV because I don't want to spend money unnecessarily. It sucks that I can't go to Zumba because I don't want to spend the money to go.
The thing I am dreading is just the job search. As anyone out of work knows, looking for a job and going to interviews is mentally draining. While I know I am a good interviewer, I'd rather be a good employee. The waiting game is something I have never been good at.
I guess the saving grace for me was that I handled it professionally. I told the caller that I was shocked and disappointed but I understood and wish I was told sooner. I emailed caller later and thanked them for their honesty. Caller said that they still needed someone and they would contact me when the position opened up again. That being said--would you want to work there? I'm torn. The position was a wonderful fit and I really liked the people I spoke with. However, this treatment left a very bad taste in my mouth. VERY. I just don't know if I could ever trust them again.
I'm normally a very positive person. Even when I've been laid off, I've never gotten this negative or felt this bad before. I'm trying to find a sliver of positive light in this dark cloud but right now I can't. Perhaps it will reveal itself to me later on. My horoscope claims that I should be having good luck at work soon. Haha, very funny.
DH has been very tolerant of me as of late. I've been extremely anti-social due to the shame of it I guess. I don't think he quite knows what to make of my behavior either since this is just not like me. I guess I just can't stand people pitying me and telling me it's going to be alright.
For me, I am just going to go with saying that my grandmother always said. "Put your head down and keep going!" Which is true. I come from a family of strong women on both sides of my family. They've dealt with way worse than this and there's no reason that I can't either. I just have to get on with it.
To end on a positive note, I do have 2 interviews this week and a possible third later in the week. So please send your best wishes, vibes, prayers etc., that something turns out for me. My husband will thank you! ;)